Bitch Called Hope

 

'Rise and shine princess, I got good news. The big game in Chicago is in 15 days.'

'Goodmorning Tom'

'You sound exhasusted. You didn't...'

'I did..' The pause was the prelude of whining.

'Goddamnit Vic, I told you to keep your hands off her!'

'You didn't include other body parts'

'Jimmy is going to bury you.'

'My corpse.'

'I don't care if he makes a pinata with your head and an ashtray with your balls! I'm not losing my income because of a broad.'

'Relax Tom.'

'Don't try to bullshit me! This is bad. Get rid of her.'

'Not gonna happen.'

'Vic, this is serious.'

'I know.'

'I don't have time for this. Have fun for the next two weeks and dump her'

'Noted'

'Go fuck yourself Vic! I'm not going to die beacause you can't keep your pants on!'

'Noted too.'

'Whatever...Just be in Chicago.'

'See you there'.

Tom will cool off. We have a date in an hour. I love the night. She gives everything and never asks for something. We are nocturnal animals, pretending to be daylight creatures. But only in the dark, you are your real self. Once the dawn bleeds the sky, insicts get sharper, senses come alive and desires takes control.

The last days have been something between paradise and a dream.  She makes me feel like a teenager again. Everything is new, everything is true. We made love in every place you can imagine. Long walks down the beach, conversations till the morning. She's  such a child, longing to devour the beauty of the world.  I'm trying to be calm, focused. But I can't. She sweeps me off my feet. She's a tornado of passion, lust, tenderness and wits.

I'm always pessimistic, but i need this to last, even if it's the last time. I'm shuffling the cards. Queen of clubs. Is this my winning card? I don't care. I don't want to win. Just the game to last a little bit longer. It's funny how one person can make everything different, even the sense of time. Happiness is the pause button of time. The whole city seems hers, her scent in it's vains, her lipstick behind every color, her sighs the electricity keeping alive everything.

I'm feeling hope. Not a good sign. Hope is cruel. I don't need another shipwrecked dream. But I 'm tired of the things I need. It's been a long time, since I wanted something. Even the verb scares me. A great poker player once told me that you never count your winnings because that’s when you start to lose. Let's enjoy the ride of this little winning streak. I know it'll end. Everything does.