Hand Of The Night

 

'There ain't no devil, just God when he's drunk!' 

The guy next to me was mumbling nonsense. He bought me a drink and started small talk.

'Is there's something you want to say to the world, mister slick?'

'It's too early for the circus, but the right time for the bar."

"Amen to that brother." 

I was nervous. The high rollers were killing themselves in the back. I was waiting for my turn. My hands were sweaty and shaking, not a good sign. The brunette across the bar was staring at me all night. That red dress was dying to come off. And that smile... Like a halo, made everything around her enchanting, even her toad boyfriend. I tried not to pay attention, but she wouldn't let me.

Tom saved me from the distraction. He bummed a cigarette and ordered a beer.

'Are you ready?'"

'I think.'

'Not a good sign.'

'Tell me about it.'

'I was talking about the brunette.'

'You've noticed?'

'Me and the rest of the bar. Stay away, that stuffed animal she's with is Jimmy's nephew.'

'Jimmy as Jimmy Rinaldi?'

'That's the one.'

'Not a good sign.'

'Told you so'

'Well, it is what it is.'

'Don't give me that "i am the fuckin' zen master and watch me float on air" bullshit. Your last girlfriend cost us 20 grand.'

'And worthed every penny.'

'Tell that to Jimmy.'

'I'd rather not.'

'Oh Lord... At least win.'

'I'll try.'

'Don't fuckin' try, this isn't an algebra test, this is our survival for the next 6 months!'

'You are making me nervous.'

'Someone has to, we are talking about a lot of money.'

'I'd rather be nervous with her.'

'For fuck's sake man, win! And then kill yourself in any way you want. But win!'

'Don't push me!'

'I'll push you off the edge of the cliff if you don't win!'

I went to the bathroom. The mirror wasn't optimistic. Washed my face and prayed. Game on. Last man standing. It was too easy. So easy that i feel cheated. Tom was ecstatic. I gave him all the money. The toad left and the brunette was all mine.

'Is that your cousin?' She laughed and took my lighter.

'Seems like a good guy. To be your cousin.'

'And if he isn't?'

'A good guy?'

'My cousin.'

'I am sure he has more important things to do, than be here with you. Study for an algebra test or something.'

'And what about you?'

'I'm not good at algebra.'

'What are you good at?'

'Chemistry.' 

She smirked and bummed a cigarette. The way she was drinking was a performance. She took the ice cube, brushed slowly between her breasts and put it on her lips.

'Define chemistry.'

'If I could it wouldn't be chemistry.'

'Doesn't red usually mean stop?'

'Not from where i am standing.'

She was really good at this game. Knew when to fold and when to score. We ended up at her place. Last drink. Great view. The smell of her hair made me feel tranquil, almost blessed. Her kisses were hungry. Couldn't get enough of her, of her taste. This wasn't sex, but neither love. 

Woke up early, had a smoke on the balcony. I didn't want to leave. I could fall for her. I can't. I mustn't. Can't take another doomed romance. I am old, tired. But God, I miss the suspence, the danger, the hope.. That fuckin' hope... That promise of eternity with a date of expiry... Went home, made me a drink and tried not to think of her. I couldn't. Not a good sign. It is what it is. That's the fabric of the world. The hustlers don't work and the workers don't hustle. And I'm always gambling. On eveything.